Worst Online Date - Bad Date Stories

I started talking to this woman online through match.com.  She seemed very normal, very pretty, and just a really good personality.  I spoke with her on the phone and it was even better.  Great voice, confirmed great peronality, just all good.  So we arranged to meet.  We had our first date and it was good conversation, good connection (so far), and we both wanted to see each other again so we made another date.

The second date came with a second personality!  All through dinner, when I would ask her something about herself she would reply and then tack on “which is way different than I used to be”.  This happened like three times before I finally took the bait and asked “what do you mean, how you used to be”.  She let out a sentence full of troubling words but I zeroed in on just a few of them that made the rest blury.  The ones I picked up were “Lesbian-Meth-Addict”.

She went on to explain that she did used to have a real meth problem and that she’d only ever been in a relationship with a man once.  All the rest of her relationships were with other women.  As if that didn’t make me choke on my dinner, I got a little more info.  She and her ex-boyfriend used to fight a lot so they went to a past life reading (she’s also into that crazy stuff, which didn’t come out until this date).  Well they know this person that does cross-past-life-readings.  Meaning that anyone you’ve met in this life you have met in a previous life.  So she and her ex found out how they had known each other in their previous lives.  They had slaughtered each others families!  That’s right.  This is second date dinner conversation! 

I have no idea what to say. I’m just letting her talk while trying to come up with an escape plan that allows me to get out alive.  But she keeps talking.  So the person that gives the past life readings has a method that includes hypnosis.  And wouldn’t you know it, the great leader is in town and doing an experiment on group hypnosis the very next night.  She must have said “I know it sounds like a cult but it’s really not” about 10 times while telling me aobut all this.  My heart rate increases as she is seated between me and the door.

And then, of course, she invites me.  I tell her I can’t because I have friends coming to town but that’s not enough of a deterent.  She says they can come too.  My heart rate increases a little more as I invision leaping over her to get out the door.  Forget the car, I can buy another one.  I just need to leave!

Finally I confince her that I just really can’t at which point I ask for the bill.  I pay it and we leave.  She points out a bar to go to and I say that I have to pick up the friends early in the morning so I need to go.  I say this while actually starting to walk away from her.  Before she can say anything (and just before my fast walking turns into jogging), I tell her I’ll give her a call when the friends have left town. 

I got ot may car and checked my rear view mirror the entire way home to make sure she wasn’t following.  Even taking turns on side streets not on my way home. 

That was probably my 3rd or 4th online date.  I cancelled my subscription and didn’t try it again until two years later!