Worst Online Date - Bad Date Stories

A few months ago I met Bill, this really great guy, online – at least, I thought he was really great! We went out a few times and were getting along really well. He was smart, funny, good-looking – the whole bit. Plus, he seemed really into me, and the best part: he wanted a long-term relationship (i.e. marriage). I thought I’d hit the jackpot!

Things were getting serious between us (i.e. I was starting to consider going to bed with him – something I’m not quick to do). One night, we went out for dinner to a great Ethiopian restaurant that my ex-husband’s sister told me about on the east end of town. Things seemed to be going okay until the server brought us our food and Bill wouldn’t eat his food. I asked him if anything was wrong with the dish, and he said that, the way the server had been holding the plate, her thumb was touching some of the food. I smiled and said “I didn’t know you were germophobic,” and he said “I’m not.”

Anyway, he lightened up and ate around the portion of food that the server’s hand had touched, and everything was going well until the bill came. We’d been overcharged on the wine we’d ordered, which is a common enough mistake, right? Well, Bill started going off about how they were trying to rip us off, and how they should even be charging us if they were going to be sticking their fingers in our food, and so on. I couldn’t believe it! He’d seemed so easy-going all along, and all of a sudden he was flipping out over one simple mistake? I was confused, and asked him what the big deal was and his answer explained everything about him: “I just hate how all n*****s think they can get away with stealing my hard-earned money.”

Well, needless to say, I now knew this guy was a racist scumbag and that I didn’t want to have anything to do with him, anymore. What I didn’t tell him, of course, was that I used to be married to a man of Ethiopian descent, and our sixteen-year-old son, Shawn, is half-black. So even though I am white, I took personal offense at what he said.

After the date, Bill suggested we spend a weekend together, away from it all. He said he’d surprise me with where we’d go. A few days later, Bill called me to say he’d bought tickets for next weekend to St. Lucia. He said he knew it was a splurge, but the money would be worth it. This was too good to be true, I thought: Bill was really going to get what was coming to him.

That weekend, when Bill came to pick me up, I showed him in to meet Shawn. Just as I’d suspected, Bill’s face when he saw Shawn looked horrified. He took me out of the room and started yelling: “What the fuck?! Why didn’t you tell me—” and I was like “What? That my son is half-black? It shouldn’t make a difference, you jackass!”

I was happy that he’d lose the cha-ching he spent on those tickets! And I tell you, nothing ever tasted so good on my lips as the smile I wore as I saw him huff and puff out of my house that day!